can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize