WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
