he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
