Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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