.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
