The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
