She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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