I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize