No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
