I wish life had little blips of pornography
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
