A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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