Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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