You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
how drunk are you?
Several
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
