I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
