I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
