so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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