I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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