Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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