Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
