I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
