Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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