you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
