At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
