His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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