you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
