never play flip cup with pint glasses
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize