guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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