The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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