I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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