ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
