You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
