when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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