This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
