So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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