my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
