so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
