so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
ttyl tear gas
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
