I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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