I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
