so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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