this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
he's gonorrhea incarnate
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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