He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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