your room smells of hookers.
And success
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
