just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
