He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
