Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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