do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
