yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
