found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize