there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
