Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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