If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
