where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
