If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
