Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
