I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We are two peas in an std pod
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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