So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
