How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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