LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
