They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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